I saw a friend over the weekend, they were talking about wanting to start a podcast. They worry about getting started, then getting better and looking back at their early work and cringing. "Haven't you ever had that feeling?" they asked.
Of course! And it feels super uncomfortable! You're exposed and vulnerable, you want to erase it from history.
If you cringe when you look at your old work, that right there is hard proof that you've improved. You've gained a critical eye, and that's something you should celebrate. It means you've grown to the point where you can recognize the gap between your ability and your taste.
There's a quote from Ira Glass of This American Life, reminiscing about his early career, talking about making things when you're first starting something new.
...your taste - the thing that got you into the game - your taste is still killer, and your taste is good enough that you can tell that what you’re making is kind of a disappointment to you.
And if this feeling is new to you, you need to keep going because you're at an inflection point. You recognize the faults in your old work and you can recognize that there are faults in your current work that you'll see later. Don't look for them now, it's not time for that. Judging your work can come later, this is a time for producing.
What does Ira say about it?
...the most important thing you can do is do a lot of work. Do a huge volume of work. [...] It is only by going through a volume of work that you're going to catch up and close that gap.
Think about the work you admire. The people producing it have it all figured out. But haven't you ever discovered some of their early work and feel like you're holding a lump of raw gold? It's rough and dirty, but when the light catches it you're mezmerized. I'm going to sound like the old-timer I am, but I remember finding bootleg demos of some of my favorite bands and obsessing over those songs. In that unburnished lump you can see the future and it stirs up powerful feelings.
It also brings the work down off the pedestal. "They sounded like that when they started?? I can do that." And if you said that once upon a time, there might someday be someone who will say the same thing when they discover your early work.
I hope my friend makes something they can cringe at later.
